Relationships

Girl Talk: Friendly Advice

My best friend has a 6- and a 4-year-old and is constantly giving me been-there, done-that, unsolicited advice. How can I get her to back off?

By Kitty O'Callaghan, Babytalk
Kitty O'Callaghan
 
 
See Also
When it comes to arguments over babycare, it's me against my wife. And all her friends. And acquaintances. - Parenting.com
Why sometimes the best advice you can give may be none at all - Parenting.com
Graceful ways to handle unsolicited parenting advice, even if it comes from your family - Parenting.com
My friend is more relaxed with her baby than I am. Am I too uptight? - Parenting.com
Q: My best friend has a 6- and a 4-year-old and is constantly giving me been-there, done-that, unsolicited advice. How can I get her to back off?

A: If your best friend isn't an overly sensitive soul, tell her straight-out that you appreciate her help, but you're doing fine on your own (just as she did with her firstborn). If she is more likely to take offense, tactfully tell her about a time when her advice didn't work for you ("I tried your sleep routine the other night and it took even longer than usual for Junior to nod off. I guess there's no perfect strategy for every baby. Now I'm doing such and such instead..."). It may not stop her from pelting you with more pearls of wisdom, but she might actually try to put a sheen of humility on them, which makes them much easier to take.

Babytalk contributing editor Kitty O'Callaghan is a mom of two boys and a girl in White Plains, New York.



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