Relationships

Why Good Dads Make Moms Jealous

How to ditch the rivalry about who's the better parent

By Melissa Balmain, Parenting
 
 
See Also
The perfect gift for a practical guy -- cool tools for his phone! (Some of them are free!) - Parenting.com
Why warm and cuddly trumps hot and heavy - Parenting.com
It's a weird feeling, when he's suddenly the final word on everything - Parenting.com
5 heroic traits you didn't know you had until you had a child -- courage, ferocity, strength, presence of mind, strong stomach - Parenting.com
Ways for fathers to forge a deeper connection with their babies - Parenting.com
Mom's out and the baby's sick: What happens with Dad's in charge? - Parenting.com
"Now stay in bed and go to sleep," my husband, Bill, said as he hugged our 3-year-old son, Davey, good night. "If you don't, I'm gonna talk in my troll voice all day tomorrow." I smiled with pity at this poor, deluded man. Several times a night, Davey had been getting up to look at books. I had spent fruitless hours reasoning with him. No way could Bill's threat make a difference, especially since Davey found his troll-under-the-bridge act more funny than scary.

But that night, Davey didn't get up once. In the morning he ran around crowing that he'd won and the troll couldn't come. Bill, unlike me, must have known that Davey needed to turn staying in bed into a game. Of course I was grateful.

I was also just the tiniest bit jealous. Why hadn't I been the one with the great insight? Why couldn't I talk like a troll?

It's comforting to know that I'm not the only mom who's had such moments. Plenty of us admit to everything from mild envy to full-blown resentment of our mates' parenting skills. And that makes us feel ungrateful: After all, we finally have something that mothers have wanted for generations: an extra pair of hands.

Today's dads spend 21.7 hours a week on childcare and related duties like shopping and housework, up 9 hours from 30 years ago, according to research by the University of Maryland. Which isn't to say that moms still don't handle the vast majority of kid-linked tasks -- a whopping 39 hours weekly. Still, our guys are doing more than their dads did. Fathers clip tiny toenails and baby-food coupons. They read bedtime stories and clothing labels. And while some of our own dads had no clue about how to change a diaper, our kids' dads often have fierce opinions on Luvs versus Huggies.

We moms say we want our spouses to be do-it-all dads: We're forward-thinking women of the 21st century. Besides, if they did less, we couldn't possibly juggle our busy lives without going nuts.

"But we don't want them to take over," says Pyper Davis, a mother of two in Washington, DC. "We don't ever want to be pushed off that throne of being Mommy."


1
2 3 NEXT >

1
2 3 NEXT >
PRINT

Comments

No comments yet. Log in or register below to be the first.
Quick Poll

Is it OK for couples to fight in front of their kids?

Yes
No


ADVERTISEMENT
Popular on Parenting.com
Popular on Parenting.com
 
Photo Galleries

26 Reasons You're a Great Mom

Moms, you're the best! Here are just a few reminders of why you deserve a medal.

promotion
 

Blog: Project Pregnancy

Taylor Newman: "Next you hear from me, I'll officially be a mom. I can't believe it's finally happening!" Updated daily!

Blog: The Parenting Post

Erin Zammett Ruddy: "Have you ever gotten the when-are-you-due slap in the face? What other things did people say to you after giving birth that drove you crazy?" Updated daily!
Contests

Beautiful Baby Search 2010

Our latest gallery of gorgeous contestants -- is your kiddo one of them?
Mom Congress

Win a Free Trip to Washington, D.C.

We're sending 51 amazing moms to the capital for our first annual Mom Congress -- find out how you can be one of them