Hit the right spot

You'll need to find a destination that's appropriate for all three generations. A beach resort might not be ideal if your mother has to stay out of the sun, and let's just say that toddlers and jewel-box B&B's aren't a great mix.

You also want to be sure that there's plenty for everyone to do. "That's why places like Sunscape Resorts & Spas or Club Med are the most popular choice for families traveling with grandparents -- they offer their guests everything from kids' camps to fancy restaurants," says Nancy Zimmerman, travel expert for boomertowne.com.

If you're not opting for a package deal, planning the trip will be a little more complicated, but still doable. Jennifer Bagdade of St. Paul, mom of Madeline, 3, took a terrific vacation with her husband, parents, and brother and sister-in-law to Costa Rica. Part of the reason it went so well, she says, is that her father researched the area carefully beforehand. "He found an oceanfront house, so Madeline could spend plenty of time in the water with us or her grandparents. And for the adults, there were museums, hiking trails -- even a zip line," she says.

While the kids' best interests should come first (no one will have fun if the children are cranky or bored), it's a good idea to get input from the adults, as well. If everyone has a say, there's less likely to be grumbling once you get there. "My parents always pay for our extended-family trips, and they have the final say on where we go, but we 'kids' suggest the destinations, and they pick from our list," says Stacie Barnett of Dallas, mom of Hayden, 3, and Jack, 11 months.

Give yourself some space

Should you rent a house? Get hotel rooms? Think about the potential noise level, especially if you have a baby who's teething or a toddler who's raring to go at dawn. When Barnett's parents took the extended family to Kauai, Hawaii, last year, they rented a condo for each nuclear family. "That way, childless couples weren't disturbed by loud kids, and we could each use our kitchens as we pleased. I stocked ours with baby food; others stocked theirs with bottles of wine," she says.

It's also important to consider the bathroom situation. If Grandpa and Grandma don't feel comfortable sharing (ask if you're not sure), choose your lodgings carefully. "My father made sure that our rental house in Costa Rica had four bedrooms and four baths. Everybody had a private place to sleep, and we didn't all end up waiting in line for the shower each morning," says Bagdade.

When it comes to determining who will sleep where, consider putting different families or generations together -- let your son bunk with Grandpa, for instance, or have all the cousins sleep in one room. Mixing things up can help extended family members get to know each other better. Just be sure that everyone is comfortable with the arrangements. If your daughter's bedtime is 8 P.M., your night-owl mom might prefer her own digs.

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