What's the dad difference in parenting? Is there one?

ER: My wife and I try to parent equally and try to be a unified front but I'm definitely the good cop, if there's a good cop/ bad cop in the house, which maybe is not the traditional role. But my kids still look for different things from each of us.

SP: Everybody is different. I know that I really want my kids to learn to make their own choices, and feel confident and comfortable with themselves. I don't know if that's a dad thing. Dads talk to kids in a different dynamic (than moms), but I think they treat them similarly.

What was the most surprising thing about being a parent?

SP: That you feel instant love for a creature you've never met. It's hard not to feel that all the time.

ER: For me the most surprising thing was how naturally it came and how easy the transition was. I heard nothing other than "oh it will change your life, everything will be so different." But I really found that not to be the case. I found that having a child has made everything better.

Did you picture yourself having a child when you were just starting out with your music, when you were thinking about your band?

ER: I wanted kids when I was really young. I was really anxious to have kids.

SP: I always imagined being a dad, but it still shocks your system.

What's the best parenting advice out there?

ER: The best piece of advice that I've taken to heart is to talk about the behavior of the child versus the child. Instead of saying "you're being a bad kid" saying "that's bad behavior" so that you separate the behavior form the child. It's a really subtle thing but it has far reaching psychological consequences. Of all the cacophony of parenting advice, that's all I've taken to heart but that's what is the most important to me.

SP: You can't control them all the time. Allow them to be themselves and love themselves for who they are.

You have a song called "Things" about things that make you sad, things that make you mad, things that make you Dad. What makes you a Dad? Is there a heralding moment, or an event? When did you feel like a dad?

ER: Right away. The fundamental difference when you become a parent, you realize you are ultimately responsible for another human being. For the first time in your life, you can't be selfish. You literally cannot be selfish. Every decision you make you have to have another human being in mind. Even when you enter into a serious relationship with someone or you get married, that person is as much independent as they are a couple with you. But when you're a parent, you hold someone's life in your hands.

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