Development

Reality Check: Caught in the Act!

Our toddler saw me and my husband making love!

By Denene Millner, No Source
 

Q. Our toddler saw me and my husband making love! What do I say if she asks about it?

A. Relax. Kids the world over get such eyefuls of their parents and go on to live normal lives. Your toddler probably doesn't even remember what she saw, much less understand what she was looking at.

I'm pretty confident that Mari, now 8, doesn't remember the night she was 3 and overheard some, er, noises coming from the master bedroom and rushed in to make sure everyone was okay. We apologized for playing "the TV" too loud and escorted her back to bed, then spent the next hour trying to think up ways to explain to her what she'd seen so we'd be prepared for the inquisition the next morning. We should've spent that hour finishing what we'd started, because the next morning Mari wasn't lying in her bed, traumatized; she was at the foot of ours, asking for a bowl of cereal and her Elmo doll.
 
Like Mari, your daughter probably didn't give it much thought, so you can do likewise. But on the off chance she actually asks "What were you and Daddy doing?" don't give her any more info than she needs. Say something
simple like "We were having Mommy and Daddy time" or "We were roughhousing," nothing more. She doesn't need a birds-and-bees speech (yet).



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