Work & Family
Reality Check: Defending Your Stay-at-Home Decision
By Denene Millner, Parenting
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Q. My friend thinks I'm old-fashioned for quitting work to be a stay-at-home mom. How do I get her to understand?

A.
The truth of the matter is that she doesn't need to understand. Every mom has to make her own decisions about what's best for her and her baby, and so what your friend needs to do is accept. The work issue is a very personal decision, one that isn't always reached easily.

If your friend should understand anything, it's this: No matter if we're working a desk job or diaper duty, all moms are trying to raise healthy, happy kids, and what's good for one mother isn't necessarily right for another. So what your friend thinks is old-fashioned is beside the point.

I'm so grateful that my friends  -- from the executive mom running her own magazine to the stay-at-home mom with two little girls  -- didn't give me a hard time when I announced I was quitting my job and moving seven states south so that Nick and I could afford for me to be home more with our daughters.

If your friend is truly a friend, she would do the same thing for you. Don't be afraid to remind her of this.


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