Health

The Co-Sleeping Debate

By Dr. William Sears, Babytalk

New parents often ask me, "Where should our baby sleep?" That's because more and more of them are aware these days that the nursery crib isn't the only option  -- and the choices can be confusing. Should the baby sleep right next to Mom and Dad in the same bed? Or how about a co-sleeper that's attached to the bed? Or maybe the crib should simply be moved into the parents' bedroom? There's no right answer, and each family has to decide what works best for them. That's why I wrote, along with my wife, Martha Sears, R.N., and two of our sons, Robert Sears, M.D. and James Sears, M.D., an entire book on sleep and the different bedtime solutions parents can try. One of the first topics we cover in The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night's Rest for the Whole Family is the important initial question of where your child should sleep. Be prepared to play musical beds with all of the following sleeping arrangements as you figure out where everyone gets the best night's rest. Even in my own family, we tried different sleep styles. Martha and I put our first three kids to bed in a crib without any problems. But then Hayden was born. A high-needs little girl, the crib just didn't work for her. That's when we discovered that being in the bed with us made her feel more secure, helping her fall asleep more easily. Find what works best for you and your little one.

The baby sleeps alone in her own room.
When you flip through some baby furniture catalogs, you see pictures of smiling parents (who always look like they've had plenty of sleep) placing their newborn in a crib in a beautifully decorated nursery. They pat the baby's tummy, kiss him on the cheek, and say "night-night" before spending a quiet evening together while their baby snoozes peacefully until the morning.

This fairy tale will eventually come true, but probably not in the early months. Still, the classic image of a baby in a crib is hard to resist. This sleeping arrangement does work well for many families, but don't be frustrated if it's not the picture-perfect scene you'd imagined.

Pros
Some babies love it. While it may not be best for sensitive babies, the crib can work beautifully for easygoing tots. Mellow kids tend to fall asleep more easily and awaken less often at night regardless of where they sleep.

You might get more shut-eye. If you're a light sleeper and every gurgle your infant makes wakes you up, you may enjoy being in a separate room. After all, happy, rested parents make for happy, rested children. And after being consumed with baby duties all day, many couples want their alone time at night. As one mother in our practice told us, "I'm with my four kids all day. At night I need time with my husband  -- alone. This works for us."

Cons
You'll have to travel. Because young babies wake up so frequently during the night (their stomachs are so small that they get hungry every few hours), many parents find this long-distance arrangement difficult; they'd rather keep their child closer, either in their bed or in their room, so that they can respond to their cries more quickly.

Sensitive babies, like our Hayden, may feel isolated and alone in their crib in a separate room. As a result, they'll cry even more  -- and sleep even less. If you and your baby have suffered countless sleepless nights, you may want to take him out of the crib, or move the crib closer to your own bed, for a night or two and see how he responds.

Adapted from The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night's Rest for the Whole Family, co-authored by William Sears, M.D., a Babytalk contributing editor.


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