Ages 5 to 7

"What does having sex mean?"

Minimum disclosure: "Sex is a way that grown-ups show love for each other. It's also how people make babies. It's a special kind of snuggle."

Maximum disclosure: After saying the above, ask, "Did that answer your question?" If your child wants more information, provide details using correct terminology for body parts. For instance, "The man puts his penis in the woman's vagina." Watch your child's body language. If he changes the topic, looks glassy-eyed, or makes "yuck" faces, back off, recommends Haffner. "Just say, 'We can talk more about this another time,' and then give him a big hug."

"How do the sperm and egg get together?"

Minimum disclosure: "They meet inside the woman's body and form a baby. The woman keeps the baby safe in her uterus for nine months until the baby is ready to come out."

Maximum disclosure: "The sperm comes out of the man's penis during sex and goes inside the woman's uterus, where it meets the egg. They join to make a baby." Kids this age aren't ready to hear about arousal, so keep further explanation clinical.

"How does the baby come out?"

Minimum disclosure: "Through the mother's vagina."

Maximum disclosure: "When the baby is ready to be born, the mom's uterus pushes the baby out. This is called labor. The vagina can stretch wide enough for the baby, and then it shrinks back to its regular size."

"Why does my penis get hard?"

Minimum disclosure: "Because it's working right. That's what penises do. It's okay. It will get soft again."

Maximum disclosure: "That's called an erection. It means that extra blood goes into the penis. But don't worry; it isn't hurt or broken. It happens because you have an exciting thought, you've been rubbing it, you have to pee, or sometimes for just no reason."

"Why can't I come to your bed at night when the door is shut?"

Minimum disclosure: "You can come in if it's an emergency, but otherwise, Mommy and Daddy like to spend quiet time together. Everyone needs some privacy, including you. We will respect yours, and you need to respect ours. Please knock and ask to enter."

Maximum disclosure: Explain that you're having sex behind the closed door only if your child catches you in the act, says Monica Rodriguez, director of information and education at SIECUS. Reassure him that nothing is wrong: "Daddy was not hurting me. We were showing love."

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