Q. My husband gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant, and though I've been able to drop some of the baby pounds, he's still big. How do I get him to exercise more and eat better?

A. You're smart to be concerned about your husband's girth. The last thing you want is that he suffer from high blood pressure, diabetes, and the like. But, really, it sounds like you're comparing your weight loss to his and judging him because he hasn't had the success you've had (lucky you!).

You've got to think about the reasons this matters to you. If you want your husband to lose weight purely because of aesthetics, then tread very carefully. He knows he doesn't look like he did as a teen, but pointing this out to him will likely make him resist. So make it clear you think he should drop a few pounds not because you want him to look a certain way, but because you want him to be around a long time for you and your child.

Perhaps you, his partner and best friend, can help him by starting a healthy fitness and eating plan to enjoy together. That's what Nick and I have started to do: We go for a brisk walk twice a week, just talking and laughing and enjoying our time together, and we're also adding more healthy recipes to our dinner repertoire.

---