The Second Trimester

I'm Huge!

Midpregnancy is often referred to as "the honeymoon," but even the most blissed-out mom-to-be can't ignore her disappearing waistline. In fact, body image is the second most common concern that Abernathy hears women mention, after fatigue. Some women may worry about their sexual desirability. Others are afraid of any long-term effects that pregnancy may have on their body. Dawn Reeves of Knoxville, TN, was upset when, by the 29th week of pregnancy, she had gained 15 pounds. "I know you have to gain weight to have a healthy baby," she says, "but I was afraid I'd never get my old body back."

Survival Tips: Flip through books of 17th-century paintings, with their voluptuous, fleshy women, to remind yourself how arbitrary standards of beauty really are. And don't assume that your partner will think you resemble a whale. Lots of men find their blossoming wives a real turn-on. When she was 19 weeks pregnant, Tammie Kee of Nashville, TN, looked better than ever. "My skin was glowing, my hair was thicker, I just felt more womanly," she says. "And it helped that my husband liked my appearance."

Something else to relish: Once women are pregnant and get a sense of what their bodies can accomplish, many feel liberated from a lifelong preoccupation with their weight, says pregnancy and childbirth expert Kitzinger.

To Test Or Not To Test

Although nearly every mom-to-be worries about her baby's health and development, some find reassurance in getting as much information as possible. However, as Mary VanClay of Oakland, CA, discovered, knowledge gleaned from medical tests can be a double-edged sword. Test results suggested that VanClay's baby wasn't developing properly. After genetic counseling, an appointment for amniocentesis, and agonizing "what if" conversations with her husband, it was determined that VanClay wasn't as far along as her doctors had thought. Her irregular periods had simply led to a miscalculation of her due date. "It was a big scare," she recalls.

Survival Tips: When anxieties rear their head, fight back with concrete information about each test's purpose and possible outcomes. Then work with your doctor or midwife to determine exactly which tests you need and want. Talk with other parents as much as possible. Hearing about other people's concerns goes a long way toward calming your own fears.

Hello In There!

The highest high of pregnancy tends to be the physical evidence women hear, see, or feel: the amazingly rapid whoosh, whoosh of the fetal heartbeat, the blurry tadpole on the ultrasound screen, and, especially, quickening - that first flutter in the womb. "Quickening is the most decisive part of pregnancy in many cultures," says Kitzinger. "It can't be recorded on any medical charts, it's just the woman's own intimate experience. She has the opportunity to feel that this isn't just a fetus but a real baby with a personality."

Survival Tips: Revel in it! Kitzinger believes that feeling the baby move is a tremendously significant step in the bonding process, one that takes place long before a woman is able to hold her newborn baby in her arms. Sing to your belly, talk to it, caress it -- and encourage your partner to do the same.

Stumble Upon Facebook Del.icio.us Google Yahoo Digg it