The Third Trimester

Onward Through The Fog

First Cynthia Foote began missing appointments. Then she'd make a mental note to do something -- fold the laundry, for example -- and discover hours later that she had forgotten all about it. "It was like I was having an out-of-body experience," says Foote, who lives in Annapolis, MD. "I was aware of things, but not functioning like I usually do."

Welcome to the homestretch. As your due date approaches, your subconscious begins to focus on the Big Event and crowds out everyday life, explains Good. "Women become more intuitive during pregnancy -- and less able to calculate a grocery bill or find the car keys," says Matthews. Hormonal shifts and interrupted sleep contribute to this space-case syndrome.

Survival Tips: If you feel not quite yourself, remember - you're not, says Matthews. You're yourself and your baby. Embrace the amazing reality of the one-of-a-kind life that's developing inside you.

More ways to slow down and appreciate this new gift: Take long walks, meditate, write in a pregnancy journal, or, if you can swing it, suggests Louden, go on a retreat to a spa or a quiet country inn - the rest and reflection will do you good.

Nesting

You may look more like a penguin than a sparrow, but the instinct is the same: to prepare for the little hatchling. Matthews sees nesting as the mind's diversionary tactic, a way to move your attention away from your increasing anxiety about labor and the many changes ahead. Nesting also provides a sense of control - it is as if you're telling yourself, If I can do this, I can do anything.

Survival Tips: Pace yourself and have fun! However, warns Matthews, be aware that modern American nesting involves a lot of anxiety-provoking consumerism. "You can get overwhelmed by all the options," she says. Self-doubt and even panic can creep in. Remind yourself that you don't have to get everything done before the baby is born.

Honey, It's Happening

The parade of emotions of the past nine months pales in comparison with the densely packed sensations of labor and the postpartum period: pain, lapses in confidence, a cloudy memory. "Everything changes," says Kitzinger, including every relationship in your life. Hormones pack an even greater wallop now, too. "The only other time our bodies undergo a physiological shift as major as that of giving birth is in death," says Good.

Survival Tips: Knowledge and support are crucial. Well before your due date, find childbirth classes that discuss labor honestly, says Kitzinger. "It's not helpful if they don't talk about fear or pain," she says. Women who are prepared have less irrational fear.

The Dip

With birth, strangely enough, often comes loss, says Good - the physical loss of your child from your womb, loss of sleep, loss of your old identity as you make the transition to motherhood.

While pregnant, Louden had heard about this emotional dip, but she'd thought that the so-called baby blues meant that "on day three, I'd either get weepy or turn into a raving lunatic. I never imagined that I'd experience such a wide and long-lasting emotional range."

Survival Tips: Talk, talk, talk. And then talk some more. Kitzinger says she's heard from women in their 70s who still feel a compelling need to retell their birth stories. "Woman-to-woman conversations are the best way to make sense of what happened," says Kitzinger. If you've had a negative or disappointing labor experience, you'll likely only prolong this crucial sorting-out process if you tell yourself dismissively, "It doesn't matter. I should just be grateful for my beautiful baby."

Finally, bear this in mind: For all the tumult, and no matter how many twists and turns you encounter along the way, at the end of the thrill ride is your newborn. And that's just the beginning of a whole new adventure.

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