When you're stressed...

Get over spouse spats "Remember, it's not 'your baby' but 'our baby,' and as much as you wanted this bundle of joy, there are some trying times in the best marriages after baby is born," says Farrell. Both of you need to admit when you're tired, need a break, or are feeling like parenthood isn't what you expected, she says, instead of directing those negative feelings toward each other. Got any funny DVDs in the house? Laughter is proven to evaporate stress, so pop one in after your baby goes to bed.

Pet the pet Remember the cat? She's good for something other than shredding your furniture. Studies show pet ownership lowers your blood pressure response to mental stress. Spend some time with your dog or kitty to tame tension.

Share bad-mama moments "Being able to talk about your not-so-stellar moments as a mom will help you realize you're not alone, you're not the worst mother in the world, and your child is not the most incorrigible," says Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist. Venting to a supportive friend or online chat buddies will help you remember there are no perfect parents or babies. And someone will always have a worse screwup story than yours.

Stop feeling guilty Okay, you raised your voice, burst into tears, said something you regret. "What you do after the outburst is most important," says Thomas. "Hug and kiss your baby and go back to being the comforting, safe parent you are." Talk your way through what happened, telling your child, "Mama was mad, but it's okay now."

Remember to laugh When your baby dumps the bowl of sweet potatoes over her head (or yours), use humor to remember what's most important: the image of your daughter all covered in orange goo. "We often make ideals  -- like clean clothes  -- more important than people," says Huber. "Remind yourself that someday this child won't even be home for dinner  -- she'll want to eat over at her friend's house." Enjoy these moments  -- they go by in a blur.