You're not overcome with joy

Though Emma Haygood of Berrien Springs, Michigan, hates to admit it, she didn't love being a mom when her daughter, Ellie, was first born. "I was on a never-ending cycle of feeding, sleeping, and changing diapers and felt cut off from the world," she says. "I feel like I cheated both of us out of the first months because I wanted that stage to rush by."

Haygood isn't the only one. Most new moms believe they're supposed to bond instantly with their baby. "We have an expectation in society that motherhood is wonderful, so when you have a newborn you should be happy all the time," says Diane Ross Glazer, a licensed therapist in Tarzana, California. "But between hormonal fluctuations, trying to meet all of a baby's needs, and other daily stresses, there are a lot of reasons a new mom can have a down day."

Moms also tend to berate themselves if they long for the carefree life they had before kids. "After I had my first son, Erik, I felt guilty because there were times I'd have given anything to see a movie on a whim or soak in a tub -- the small things you take for granted before kids," says Jessica Arivett of Dallas, Georgia.

How to get over it: No one is happy every day and it's unreasonable to expect to be, says Ross Glazer. Sharing your worries and frustrations with other new moms can help.

Also, go easy on yourself. "Just because you don't want to be around your child 24 hours a day doesn't mean you don't love her," says Aviva Pflock, coauthor of Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids, and cofounder of Parentopia.net. It's normal to mourn your prebaby life and important to realize that you don't have to give it up entirely. "As you settle into a routine, you can have some of that old life back -- it's a balancing act that you get better at with time," she says.

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