Q. My friend, a single mom, asked to borrow money, but I'm not confident she'll be able to pay me back. What do I do?A. It's natural to want to help out. But know that if you loan the money, you should be prepared either to:
overlook (and accept) not getting paid back ever, or
have the friendship damaged or destroyed.
I failed to think this through when I loaned a good friend more than $1,000 to pay off a credit card.I felt bad because her baby's father was acting a fool and not helping with bills.
I've never seen a dime of it again, and at first I couldn't look at her without remembering my cash. She'd wear a new dress and I'd think, why didn't she use that money to pay me back? I didn't want to seem bitter by asking about it, and after a while, she stopped promising to repay me. We're still friends, but not as close as we once were.
So consider what could happen. It's perfectly legitimate to ask for a specific payback plan to reduce awkwardness and mixed messages.
Then prepare yourself for the chance you won't get paid back. Accept that and your friendship will survive.
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