But now at home, on the last day of her four-month maternity leave, Salt is feeling humbled. Her time with baby Alec wasn't at all what she'd expected it to be. "I thought this baby would come out laughing, happy all the time. I had our days all planned," she says. Salt fantasized about taking her baby for leisurely trips to the grocery store, then preparing gourmet meals while he cooed and giggled nearby. She pictured herself nursing peacefully, then lying down to rest while Alec dozed in his bassinet. As much as she likes her job, Salt looked forward to four uninterrupted months of what seemed like the ultimate vacation: time off with her first baby.

"I didn't have a clue!" she says now. In reality, Alec was a colicky infant who didn't like going to the grocery store  -- or anywhere else. Instead of getting dressed up for outings and napping between feedings, Salt lived in baggy sweats and hopped from one baby chore to the next. "There were days when I didn't even brush my teeth until four in the afternoon," she says. Instead of feeling competent, Salt often felt frustrated and hopeless. But on the eve of her return to work, is she ready to give up the structureless days and numbing routine of baby care and embrace the comforting predictability and sense of accomplishment she gets from her job? Well...

"I'm miserable," Salt says, only half kidding. While she is looking forward to getting out of her sweats and focusing on something other than spit-up and dirty diapers, Salt dreads saying good-bye to her infant son each morning. Challenging though it was, her maternity leave went by too quickly. Now that it's over, Salt wonders, "Why didn't anyone tell me what maternity leave would really be like? If I'd had a more realistic picture, maybe I could have relaxed and enjoyed it more."

Salt isn't the first woman to be surprised  -- and overwhelmed  -- by the tough realities of life with a newborn, of course. A lot of rookie mothers find that their job skills and organizational abilities are of little help during those first months at home with a baby. They have big plans that never materialize (using their time off to refinish furniture, learn to play tennis, start an elaborate baby book) and problems they never anticipated (breast infections, babies who don't sleep, husbands who do sleep).

"For women who are used to having a lot of structure in their jobs, staying at home with a new baby is a real shift," says Pamela Suraci, a family counselor in Santa Cruz, CA. Since newborns have no real schedule, the unpredictable days and nights can drive a new mother bonkers. "You never know when you're going to sleep. Getting a meal can be a real challenge. And all of a sudden, you feel incompetent," Suraci says. "This tiny bundle that you've waited so long for can really throw you for a loop."

Being home also has its rewards: Seeing your baby wrapped in a hooded towel for the first time will make you squeal with joy; rocking him to sleep in your arms will fill your soul. But along with the highest highs you'll ever feel may come some of the lowest lows. Perspective, however, comes only after you've lived the experience. So we asked experts as well as veteran moms to share their advice and hard-won wisdom on how to make the most of your maternity leave.

Annette Spence is a contributing editor of BabyTalk and the mother of two boys in Knoxville, TN.

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