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Preschoolers — Solo Play Takes Off

Around 3 and 4, kids are bombarded with rules  -- no candy before dinner, no biting the baby  -- but when it's time for play, they should have choices and be encouraged to make their own decisions. As your child gets older and better at playing alone, your role as game-starter will diminish.

"As soon as they could walk, my two boys never seemed to need or want me while they were playing," says Susan Laskaris, a mom of three in Boulder, Colorado. "But my youngest, Emma, ran to me for help for years. All it would take was one block to fall off the tower, and she'd come get me."

To help your child figure out what to do with her fallen blocks, experts suggest talking it out. "Uh-oh, this is getting hard," you might say. "I wonder what will happen if I try putting the block on this way  -- will it stay put?" You can also do this to help her think of ways to play by herself, without you there to set up the play dough or the puppets. Try "Let's see. I'm kind of bored. What can we do with all these dolls?" Eventually, she'll be able to talk herself through her problem or a bout of boredom.

Show her how to find fun in everyday objects so that she can do the same for herself. Some ideas to get you started:

• Together, make a dress-up box filled with old clothes, gloves, hats, sunglasses, and whatever else strikes her fancy.

• Set up a tent indoors (or drape a blanket over a couple of chairs) for an instant fort, castle, or cave. And never throw away a cardboard box until your child's had a chance to turn it into a spaceship!

• Empty water bottles make good bowling pins  -- just add a tennis ball for an indoor bowling alley.

Another way to encourage her to play alone: Rotate the toys you keep out (bonus: your playroom will be a little neater). That's what the teachers at Henry's preschool did, and each morning, the kids loved to see the "new" toys and enjoyed examining them on their own.

Art projects with crayons and markers are just right for this age too. Unlike toddlers, preschoolers are able to work with nontoxic glue and large pieces of fabric and paper. (Make sure younger siblings aren't assisting them.)

Giving your child these tools  -- from art supplies to the ability to think up solo games  -- is just as important as the time you spend playing along. And while she entertains her stuffed animals at a tea party, feel free to amuse yourself too!

 

Susan Brody is a mom of two boys in New Jersey.