"Yeah, well, I got news for you: Life isn't fair, so SUCK IT UP! If it were, our private chef would be making you lunch and the chauffeur would drive you to school and I would still be ASLEEP instead of having this conversation. AGAIN!"

No, I didn't say that to my twin girls this morning, but I thought it so loudly they may have heard. What the ladies found so unconscionable was that after they had bickered for 20 minutes about who got to wear the pink sweatshirt with the fairy on it, I told them neither of them could. We then discussed how frustrating it is that we can't always get what we want, and I explained the reasoning behind my entirely equitable decision. I knew they weren't happy, I told them, but short of magically pulling an identical fairy sweatshirt out of my behind (gross-out faces ensued), it was the best I could do in the two minutes we had before we had to leave. Nonetheless, they harrumphed and stomped around and insisted that I was perpetrating a grave injustice against them and possibly children everywhere. This, before I'd had my coffee. But at least they weren't arguing with each other.

It was a welcome respite, considering that Sasha and Vivian, who are 6, have recently found the following unfair (partial list): that Vivian's class went to the museum, and Sasha's didn't; that Sasha's class got to eat the marshmallows they used for making 3-D geometric shapes with toothpicks, while Vivian's class didn't even do that activity; that Viv's tooth fell out first, even though Sasha was born 90 seconds before Vivian and so is "older"; that Sasha's glasses are purple and not "boring old gold," like Vivian's; that Sasha "got to have" alone time with Mommy when she stayed home from school vomiting into the Hello Kitty trash bin; that Mommy sits on Viv's bed to kiss her good night, but Sasha only gets kissed from a standing position (Sasha sleeps on the top bunk, which is hard for me to climb on). By the way, it also is sometimes unfair to Vivian that Sasha gets the top. It makes me insane.

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