Babies: First frights

Infants come into the world with no real awareness of its dangers. Even so, they're hardwired to reflexively bawl at sudden loud noises and cling if they sense they're falling. It's at 6 or 7 months that many babies actually feel afraid. As they begin to develop a memory of familiar faces, anyone they see who isn't Mom or Dad is potentially a stranger to be feared. An infant who may have delighted in being passed from one person to another can suddenly get hysterical when he's taken away from his mother.

Anna Kanaley, 15 months, became terrified of the two women who frequently clean her family's house in Arlington, Virginia, much to her mom's embarrassment. "One week Anna loved them," Victoria Kanaley says, "and then she couldn't stop crying when she saw them." So, when Anna started to wail, her mom would pick her up and remind her who these women were  -- and then make an exit. After several months, Anna was again happily reaching for them.

Just as babies are scared of unknown people, they can be startled by almost anything unfamiliar, whether it's a bearded man or something as innocuous as a flushing toilet. When Alex Ramsey was 1, a balloon happened to burst near him; the sound was so surprising that even the sight of a balloon terrified him after that. "You can imagine what it was like at birthday parties," says his mother, Susan Picascia of Studio City, California. To calm him, she'd gently explain that the sound wouldn't hurt him and tried to avoid balloons when she could. The best way to handle fears in infants and very young children is to do just what Kanaley and Picascia did, say experts: Orchestrate the environment. Soothe your baby with reassuring hugs and calm words if he's frightened, but don't force him to face whatever he's afraid of.

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