Multipurpose solutions

1. Invoke an outside authority

Toddlers and preschoolers are often more willing to listen to someone other than Mom or Dad. Nanci Schwartz of Fruitland Park, Florida, summons up her father-in-law, a pharmacist, as the ultimate authority on a variety of subjects, from 3-year-old Cadi needing to take her medicine to her giving up her nighttime bottle. "She accepts anything if we tell her that Poppy says so," Schwartz says. The magic authority figure in Melia Wilkinson's Baltimore home is a dog. "Snickers, our Husky, is the cure for anything," says Wilkinson. "If we're in the car and Casey starts to fuss, I say, 'We're going home to see Snickers,' and she calms down."

2. Warn, then follow through

When my daughter Mathilda was 4, I couldn't get her to pick up her toys. No matter how much I hounded, or sang "Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere," she had no interest in doing her share. Finally, I got out a garbage bag and said, "Any toys on the floor at bedtime are going in the trash." And then I scooped up all the toys scattered in the living room that night and put them in the basement. (I wasn't foolhardy enough to throw away hundreds of dollars worth of the Fisher-Price family -- but she didn't know that. When I brought them back out a few months later, she'd forgotten the details and it was a very happy reunion.)

3. Point out the rules

When you write down some house rules, you may be amazed at how little you have to say. When Abby Carr tried to discipline her 2- year-old, Lila, "sometimes she would just giggle," she says. So even though Lila was too young to read, Carr put up a sign in her room that said, "No Pushing, No Biting, No Kicking, No Spitting." "When she misbehaves, we go and point to the sign and she tells us what's on it -- it seems to get through to her." To serve up a positive message, Carr added a new sign next to the old one. "It lists things she should do: 'Please Play, Laugh, Dance, Sing, and Jump!' " Good words for all of us to follow.

Charlotte Latvala, a mom of three, writes a weekly parenting column for the Beaver County Times in western Pennsylvania.

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