Stressful social encounters

Of course, though all this antisocial behavior might be perfectly normal, it's certainly no picnic as a parent to withstand or corral. And it can make for some pretty stressful social encounters.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the playgroup Ezra and I attended for almost a year started to dissolve just as the kids  -- who were between 12 and 18 months  -- began to assert their wills in some not-so-delightful ways. We moms quickly tired of the constant bickering and hair pulling among the kids. Watching your child scratch a playmate's face can be mortifying. Jumping up every two seconds to manage a new turf battle can be exhausting.

And wondering what other parents are thinking of you and your child can take its toll. For my part, as Ezra sat mute and glued to my lap during week after week of our playgroup, I found myself constantly trying to overcompensate with tales of his spirited engagement at home. I hated to hear myself talk that way. And I hated how much other moms' judgments mattered to me. We stopped going to the playgroup because neither of us seemed to be having fun. The other moms must have felt the same; the group fizzled soon after.

"As soon as our children hit or otherwise behave 'badly,' we get embarrassed and uncomfortable," says Wendy Masi, Ph.D., a child psychologist and dean of the Mailman Segal Institute for Early Childhood Studies at Nova Southeastern University, in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "We wonder, 'How should I respond?'"

But your role, says Masi, is to help give your child the tools and experience to become more comfortable in social settings. It's tempting to avoid these awkward situations, but keeping your kid at home because he doesn't play well with others will only hurt, rather than help, him in the long run.

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