Prep a Little

Introduce the topic by saying, "Now that you're almost 3, we've found a special place for you to meet friends, play games, and be with grown-ups called teachers." Read books that show how much fun school can be. Some good choices: Will I Have a Friend?, by Miriam Cohen; Franklin Goes to School, by Paulette Bourgeois; and Spot Goes to School, by Eric Hill.

Be careful not to build up the excitement too much. Watch your preschooler's reaction after you've brought up the subject. If she turns away or her eyes glaze over as you read or talk about it, you're overdoing it. One mother of a 3-year-old told me, "I guess I talked too much about how fun school would be and how proud I was of her. When the first day came, she acted as if she had stage fright."

It can be comforting to both of you to walk up to the school doors several weeks before class begins. You could even snap a photo of your child in front of the building. Some schools encourage teachers to make short home visits around this time. Take advantage of the opportunity if it's offered, so your child can meet her teacher on her own turf.

If the preschool sends details on what's planned for the first day, share that information with your child, keeping the message simple: "You'll play, paint, have a snack, and sing." Often teachers have an organized activity, like an arts-and-crafts project, already set up when the kids enter. Assure your child that she'll have something fun to do.

Also, make sure that you understand in advance how the school will have you separate from each other. For instance, will the parents be expected to stay in an adjacent room for the first week or leave after the first hour? Whatever the plan, tell your child. Just don't express any lingering anxiety you may feel. As long as you're at ease with the way the school kicks off the year, chances are she will be too.

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