Q. Whenever my usually adorable baby is in a public setting, like a Mommy & Me class or a play date, she just sits like a lump or cries inconsolably. I can't keep telling everyone that she a) is tired or b) just woke up from a nap. What's wrong?

A. Is there something wrong with me because I lack the JLo gene that makes you want to dance in front of a crowd? Maybe. Or maybe, I just don't like being on stage.Your baby may have the same aversion to the spotlight, but in her case, the unwanted attention makes her withdraw or cry. It's difficult not to think something's "wrong," particularly when other babies are laughing or doing dances. But, believe me, they too have their moments of fear and loathing. You just don't see them.

What thrills or annoys your baby depends on her unique personality. My two sons, for example, were completely opposite in their approaches to baby classes. In fact, one refused to approach them at all  -- never mind that I had already paid in full for the prescribed fun.

It never failed that my baby was always the one having a fit while I smiled nervously and screamed telepathic messages commanding him to have fun, behave, and be cute. (I can't repeat what I told him, but I can tell you that if the FCC monitored my brain waves, I would have been fined.)

After a few more futile attempts at different baby classes, I realized that forcing the issue wasn't helping my son to learn social skills as much as antisocial ones. ("Hmmm. I get it: If you really want someone to get out of your face, wail like a banshee and watch 'em scatter.") Finally, I accepted the fact that he wasn't ready to join a class and stopped trying to find one, which made us both happier.

Three years later, I'm proud to say that my boy joins in group fun  -- albeit at his own glacial speed. And, perhaps, by giving your baby the time she needs to feel comfortable, she too will find her own way to shine  -- in or out of the spotlight.

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