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Baby Lessons

Trusting Intuition; "Me" Time

Trusting Intuition

"I wouldn't be so sensitive about unsolicited advice. People often assume that new moms have no clue and give their opinions on everything from teething to diapering. At the time, I'd think, 'Don't they know I'm trying my best and I'm a good parent?' But now I'd tell them, 'I know what I'm doing. I didn't ask for your advice.'"

-- Mary Stanford, El Segundo, CA

"I should have told my husband that I was nervous about being a new mom. I was afraid it meant I wasn't a good mother. And because I never said anything, my husband still thinks I have all the answers and it's hard for him to understand that I sometimes don't."

-- Kathy March, Lawrenceville, GA

"I wouldn't have been so militant. I was like a dictator with my husband: Change her diaper this way, hold her that way, play with her now. I forgot that dads have their own special ways with babies too."

-- Marina Leung, Flushing, NY

"Me" Time

"I wish I had pushed myself to get out of the house once in a while and meet other moms or have breakfast in a neighborhood restaurant. In the beginning, I felt like I was a clock watcher  -- my whole focus was wake, feed, do chores around the house, feed, and so on. I felt isolated and detached."

-- Kelli Yi, Westchester, CA

"There was this energy vacuum when our daughter first arrived  -- she drew all the attention away from me and my wife. I should have made it a priority that we reconnect and redefine our marriage. After a year, our dynamic as a couple was gone. We had to go back and figure out how to balance our relationship with this new entity in the middle of it. Now we make sure that we always take time for us."

-- Douglas Breitbart, Ridgewood, NJ

"I'd accept the fact that I am not Supermom: I would have taken a day off from work occasionally and left my son at daycare, or I would've put him to bed earlier and taken a hot bath. I think that some time apart makes moments you have together more enjoyable. After all, it's the quality, not the quantity, that counts."

-- Tracy Slaughter, Comstock Park, MI

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