Best of Twitter’s Honest Toddler
Are you following these funny tweets from inside the mind of a toddler?
On destroying stuff
Went up to daddy. Kissed him. Whispered, "I love you." Then handed him the pieces of his phone.
Toddler Tip: If you see a phone being charged, pull it out. NOT ON YOUR WATCH.
Open mouth sneezed on mommy's keyboard with a mouth full of crackers.
At the bank. Taking care of those pesky line cords. Karate chopped two of them. You're welcome.
Dear mama's friend. I don't have a fever. She just doesn't want to go. Don't worry, she lies to me, too.
Common Parent Lies: "There's no more." "That's hot/spicy." "Everyone is sleeping." "Go hide, I'll come find you."
She just threw a handful of skittles on the floor. Conference call.
No story tonight. Guess the 8PM primetime television lineup is more important than my growing mind.