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Best of Twitter’s Honest Toddler

Courtesy HonestToddler/Twitter

Sure, every minute with our kids is a gift. We couldn’t be more thankful for them, even when we want to pull our hair out. Still, sometimes, doesn’t it feel like they’re torturing you…on purpose? Now viral sensation @HonestToddler is giving us a peak inside a little kid’s psyche, and it turns out you’re not crazy: they are messing with you. We’ve gathered his funniest, most true-to-life tweets. Plus, read our Q&A with Honest Toddler!

On annoying behavior

Trying to rush me? COMMENCE SLOW MOTION.

Waiting until my mom has finished working/cleaning like a crazy person and is about to relax before waking up from my nap.

She told me to get my shoes. I came back with a spoon.

Babysitter will be here any minute. Stripped naked and rubbed Vaseline all over my chest. Come at me, Poppins.

I'd rather watch you play with my toys than play with them myself. Dance puppet, dance.

Toddler Tip: You can only wipe your nose on YOUR mama's pants. People get weird.