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Bringing Up Babies

8: Twin truths

Guilt is a constant. You're pulled in two directions trying to meet the demands of your two babies. It's hard not to feel bad when you're tending to one before the other.

You learn to lower the bar. We let some things slide, like allowing the older kids to watch TV during breakfast while we dressed the twins. Or we gave the twins cookies at 6 a.m. so we could empty the dishwasher without them crawling into it.

You feel like you're on display. When we take our multiples out in public, we can end up feeling like a sideshow circus attraction. Sometimes the attention is lovely, but when we have 100 things to do between meals and naps and preschool pickups, we have no time to waste. Sorry! We will be more polite when our kids are in college.

Twins are a financial drain. Because we had to buy additional car seats, bigger cars, and other stuff for the babies, we had very little cash left to spend on ourselves.

Twins aren't always best friends... Seeing one twin bite or hit the other is common—and upsetting. It makes you think you'll always have to protect the less aggressive one. And then you get ticked at yourself for labeling them.

...but the bond between them is undeniable. It's remarkable to watch your babies communicate, sometimes in their own language; defend each other; and be the only ones to consistently laugh at each other's jokes. Even twins who look nothing alike or are different genders can foster a uniquely strong relationship that will last a lifetime.