In my recurring nightmare, my two little girls, Isabelle and Lorelei, are all grown up and in their early 20s. They are in the midst of a heartfelt discussion with an aged, somber man who is listening to their every word. They are explaining to this man how their father let them down. From the day they were born, my girls say, their father never really connected with them. In my dream, I desperately want to change the channel...but I can't. The somber man is a daytime talk- show host. My daughters, now engaged in a mud-wrestling contest, are guests on The Jerry Springer Show.
Because of similar creepy, foreboding dreams when my wife was first pregnant and ever since, I vowed early on that I would never be an emotionally absent father. I talked regularly to both of my girls before they even left the womb, and I read to them frequently in their first few days of life. I took them on outings to the park and restaurants before they could sit up in the baby swing or eat solid foods.
I did everything in my power to bond with them. Thankfully, everything worked out just peachy. For me, at least. You see, several weeks after Isabelle, and then Lorelei, arrived, my wife started having a recurring nightmare.
Our babies bonded with me, but with Susan, well, not so much. Granted, as regular readers of this column know, my wife suffered from postpartum depression after our daughters were born and was unsure of her role as a mother, so our babies may not have attached themselves as easily to her at the start. Still, no matter what the reasonable explanation -- depression, a busy job that takes up all your time -- it doesn't change the fact that when your infant bonds better and faster with the other parent, it hurts.
Geoff Williams is a Babytalk contributing editor in Loveland, Ohio.
