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Discipline Help!

Showing Anger


A furious adult can be pretty overwhelming. When our children make us mad, should we let them know it?

Pieper: Anger isn't an effective response  -- it makes children feel that they're lovable one moment, then not lovable the next. If you feel angry, it helps to say to yourself, "Right now I'd like to kill this kid, but I'm going to try and keep a lid on it because it's not her fault. It's obviously my issue."

Dr. Klass: The idea that when you're angry you should somehow cover your anger and simply be judicial is frightening to me. I think that when you're upset or frustrated, you should let your child see that. Of course, keep in mind that the younger she is, the more frightening your anger is. So if you've upset your child too much, apologize.

Dr. Sears: Anger is a normal emotion. A child needs to know that what she did made you angry  -- but she also expects you to stay in control. You can show the disapproval on your face. If you begin to yell, though, tell your child you're mad and walk away. Come back later when you've regained control.