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Fatherhood: The Guy’s Guide

10 Things They Don't Tell New Dads

1. You'll gain "sympathy weight" with your pregnant wife, so you can help each other with exercise and a healthy diet after the baby is born.

2. You'll miss your favorite team's games. The sooner you come to grips with that, the better, because you'll find no sympathy at home.

3. Keep your chest hair covered. Your baby will mercilessly pull it out.

4. There's almost nothing that can't be solved with a game of peekaboo.

5. Surprise! Your mother-in-law is about to come in handy. Really.

6. You're going to have less sex. (No, wait. They probably told you that already, didn't they?)

7. Other parents will relish telling you how having a baby will take all of the fun out of your life. Ignore them. They're having a second one, so there must be something to it.

8. No one will take your newborn away from you if you sit him on your lap and watch Rocky III. Maybe someone should, but they won't.

9. If your wife is breastfeeding, she'll be dehydrated, so think of yourself as a waiter: Your job, every few minutes, is to come by and refill her water glass.

10. You may have seen the sun rise over the Grand Canyon. You may have honeymooned at Niagara Falls. No matter. You will never see anything more beautiful in your travels -- there may never have been anything more beautiful -- than your wife asleep in bed with your baby resting beside her.

Gary Drevitch is a New York City-based writer and the father of one son.