Girl Talk: Getting Back In the Mood
It’s been months since I gave birth, but I’m just not in the mood for sex. What can I do?
Q. I love my husband, but I can't get "in the mood." It's been months since I gave birth, and I'm worried that my sex drive is gone for good. How can I get interested in sex again?
A. That's an easy one: I don't know. And if you ever find out the answer, please drop me a line.
Just kidding (sort of). What you need is time, time, and more time. Just because your doctor gives you the green light six weeks after delivery doesn't mean you can put your libido in gear. In fact, for much of the first year, you can count on it to be stuck in neutral, or even reverse, particularly if you're breastfeeding.
Why? Two reasons: Estrogen and fatigue. The first drops and the second spikes, leaving you with little desire and even less energy. Even if you have a baby that sleeps through the night, it doesn't matter because your estrogen has taken a nosedive and your sex drive has followed it like a lemming off a cliff.
So, you see, it's not that your husband is less attractive. At this point in your postpartum life, he could be Brad Pitt dipped in chocolate and the only thing that would pop into your mind is "Did I leave the stove on?" But take heart. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, your estrogen levels will soar once again. Of course, by then you'll be exhausted from running after a toddler....