It was a gorgeous day, not a cloud on the horizon. Still, my 4-year-old, Ava, looked out the window and groaned, "I don't want to go to the park; it's going to rain." Another morning, about a week later, she could hardly contain her excitement about the coming day. "I love everything, Mommy!" she shouted, twirling around in her pajamas. If I could have bottled her mood, I'd be a millionaire.
But I'm confused. Will Ava be an Eeyore, one of those people destined to see the glass half empty, expecting rainy days all her life? Or will she be a Tigger, a girl who bounces back from disappointment and soars through life, her glass always brimming over?
I was a glass-half-empty girl myself, constantly being reminded by my mom to "put on a happy face." So when I see the same kind of negativity express itself in my own child, I'm concerned. I hate to see her sad before there's a reason or worried before anything goes wrong.
Above all, I don't want to see her prone to all sorts of problems that researchers have observed in pessimists. Turns out, Mom was right: Optimism is good for you. Positive people are healthier and just plain happier. They're more secure and perform better at school and at work; each success spurs them on to higher achievement.
But a cheerful nature isn't about using a smiley face to mask unhappy feelings. It's a positive outlook that springs from enthusiasm and confidence. As Suzanne Muro, a mom in Washington, DC, puts it, "I'd like my three-year-old to learn that he can change the things he isn't happy with, that he can take an active role in shaping his own life no matter what. That's what optimism really means to me."
Who wouldn't wish this on their offspring? Even if you have a tendency to look on the dark side of things, there are ways to give your child the tools she'll need to develop an optimistic personality:
