We invited you to share the smartest advice you ever got about raising kids, for our 20th Anniversary Contest in May. We received more than a thousand insightful and inspiring entries -- it was tough to pick the winners. Read on for the best tips of the bunch!
Plus: Send us your favorite mom tip -- it could be featured in an upcoming issue of Parenting!
Grand Prize winner: Jillian Ezekiel, mom of Malka, 15 months, Flushing, NY
What she won: 4-day 3-night vacation for four at the Orlando World Center Marriott, including airfare for four, golf, and spa treatments.
Value: $3500
Jillian's advice: "Follow the 80-20 rule: 80 percent of your interactions with your kids should be positive, and only 20 percent negative. That means a lot of compliments, encouragement, and humor (jokes count!). Negatives include impatience. Though my daughter is still young, I try to remember, as she grows and our family grows, the importance of a warm, positive home."[pagebreak]
Second Prize winner: Susan Moran, mom of Sam and Ava, 2; Luke, 1, Chicago, Illinois
What she won: Panasonic PV-GS320 combination still-camera and MiniDV camcorder.
Value: $500
Susan's advice: "Be yourself; let your children be themselves. I try to be true to the 'me' that was here before kids: fun, easygoing, and patient. That can't change just because they've spilled juice for the millionth time! I want my kids to know me, not some version of me who's stressed out and exhausted. I take a minute and get back to 'me' before reacting to them."[pagebreak]
Third Prize winner: Jessica Rudolph, mom of Alyssa, 14; Ashley, 10; Aden, 19 months, Gilbert, AZ
What she won: $200 gift certificate to The Children's Place.
Jessica's advice: "If you have a crab, put it in water! If your child is crabby, put him in a bath, a pool, or even a sprinkler outside in the grass. Within minutes, your crab is gone!"[pagebreak]
Third Prize winner: Sarah Bray, mom of Nolan, 2; and Lilah, 8 months, Virginia Beach, VA
What she won: $200 gift certificate to The Children's Place.
Sarah's advice: "Model healthy relationships for your kids. If you're single, develop a strong support system of people who have a positive impact on your life. If you're married, focus on your relationship with your spouse first."[pagebreak]
What she won: $200 gift certificate to The Children's Place.
Laurie's advice: "My mother told me when I had my first child, "Being a parent is hard, but so is being a child." This helped me look at the world through my children's eyes -- through finger paintings on the walls, crayon drawings on the refrigerator, and the famous words 'Are we there yet?' When you realize you're learning the rules and boundaries together, it makes everything easier."[pagebreak]
What they won: "To Mother With Love" spa package, Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa.
Value: $189
"Never make a rule that you wouldn't get out of the shower to enforce. (And always take a shower.)"
-- Heidi Golden, mom of Lillian, 2, Portland, OR
"When you're upset with your child, determine if it's really about your child, or about you. If she spills juice on your new tablecloth, are you upset that she had an accident, or that you just bought a brand-new cloth? Remove your own issue from your response. After all, it's not her fault that the table is covered with a new cloth instead of the beat-up old one!"
-- Diane Lama, mom of Jesse, 7; Jack, 1, Eastchester, NY
"If you are hugging your kids (no matter their age), don't be the one to let go first."
-- Deniese McGowan, Fairfield, TX, mom of Ashlee, 13; Tristen, 11; Dylon, 9 months[pagebreak]
What they won: OXO GOOD GRIPS 15-piece Everyday Kitchen Tool Set and Stainless Steel Salad Spinner.
Value: $150
"There will be days when you feel like you can't get anything done. So just do a little something, even if it's folding a few clothes. At the end of the day, pat yourself on the back for the things you did get done rather than worrying about what you didn't."
-- Diana Simonson, mom of Lewis, 1, Saugerties, NY
"Record the voices of your infants and toddlers because it's easy to forget the cuteness and smallness of the sound once they are past that stage."
-- Mindie Whitten, mom of Elliot, 3 1/2, and Catcher, 17 months, Pittsburg, KS
"Don't make life too easy for your kids -- make them do age-appropriate chores, save money, work toward goals, and so on. Our job, as parents, is to help a child be prepared for real life."
-- Alicia Lewis, mom of Jordan, 19, and Brett, 18, Colorado Springs, CO
"Leave the house every day, no matter what. Even a walk around the block or a run to the store for milk has a huge impact on your mood, and keeps you and your children from going stir crazy."
-- Cathi Woods, mom of Ainsly, 2, and Dawson, 13 months, Baton Rouge, LA
"Look 'em in the eye! When you're telling them you love them, when you're correcting them, feeding them, playing with them, reading or singing to them. Show them love and respect with your eyes. They'll return the favor, to you and to the world."
-- Cathy E. Brown, mom of John-Mark, 17, and Dylan, 13, Talbott, TN[pagebreak]
What they won: Malie Hawaiian Spa Journey kit.
Value: $140
"Use a timer. In the morning: First beep means the kids must be done eating, second beep signals they need to be dressed and teeth need to be brushed, third beep means bags packed and ready to go. Other uses are for quiet time and chores -- and fun things like reading or how long till we go to Grandma's."
-- Martha Rousu, mom of six, Scottsdale, AZ
"If it's moving, don't eat it!"
-- Angela Fuller, mom of Brandon, 12, Michael, 4, and Christopher, 3, Soddy Daisy, TN
"Be careful what you wish for. When my boys were babies, I spent so much time wishing they could roll over, sit up, walk, and talk that I missed out on all the wonderful things they were doing in the meantime."
-- Angela Barr, mom of Tim, 18, and Kyle, 13, Ypsilanti, MI[pagebreak]
What they won: A set of Matrix Vavoom hair-care products.
Value: $100
"When my son was getting on my last nerve, I'd recite aloud the Gettysburg Address, the Preamble to the Constitution, or a lengthy poem. It was better than counting to 10 because it kept my mind fresh and helped my son learn (and learn patience, too)."
-- Stacie McClellan, mom of Kyle, 20, North Little Rock, AR
"Have a 'suggestion box' in your house. Ever since our girls were old enough to hold a crayon, they'd draw what they wanted to do and stick it in the box. Every Saturday we take a suggestion out of the box and do it as a family. This greatly reduces the "How come we never get to do what I want to do?" complaints."
-- Morgan Towle, mom of Kamryn, 6, and Trinity, 5, Fairview, OK
"Say 'get to' instead of 'have to.' For example, instead of saying 'You have to go to school today,' say, 'You get to go to school.' It helps kids realize and cherish that they have the ability to do things."
-- Michelle Johnson, mom of Brad, 16 and Leah, 2 1/2 years, Springfield, OR
"Always make time for yourself, even if it's only a few minutes a day. When I'm pumping for 15 minutes in the early morning hours, that's my time, and I catch up on some reading."
-- Marcy L. Silva, mom of Madison Marie, 5 months, Winchendon, MA
"Never say never, as in 'My child will never_____ (fill in the blank: drink soda, have cookies before dinner, stay up past 7 p.m. on a school night...).' My son's room may be messy, and my daughter might not eat all her veggies, but we are happy and healthy -- and my children have learned to 'never say never' as well."
-- Laura Lavoie, mom of Jason, 16, and Elizabeth, 4, Meriden, CT
