Must Read Moms: Weebles Wobblog
I wasn't supposed to be eaves-dropping. "He's a terrific kid," I overheard my husband say into the phone. "Such a hustler on the court -- his coach calls him 'Big Diesel.'"
Just another proud papa? Kind of. But there's more to it. On the line was my son's birth dad, AJ. He was not around when Reed was born into this world, then into our family. He remained a mystery to us for seven years. Until the day when, friending Reed's birth mom on Facebook, I saw his name and hesitantly sent a request. AJ accepted.
Why did I pursue this friendship? As most parents do, I welcome into our lives all that helps Reed, 7, and his sister, Tessa, 9, grow into healthy adults. Why not invite in more people to love them?
Our first iChats simply circled. "Wassup?" he'd write. But eventually, we came to it: He had been thinking about Reed; he would like to be present in our son's life. Over the phone, I'd let him know that once he was "in," he couldn't go back out. Now, barring any snags, my husband and I were readying to meet him.
This is how openness changes the arithmetic of adoption: Instead of subtracting and dividing, we are adding and multiplying.