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No Lovey, No Security

Q. I hear moms talk about loveys all the time, but my daughter doesn't have one. Should she?

A. Many kids develop a strong attachment to a "lovey," such as a blanket or toy, and this security object helps them feel comforted and safe. But the object isn't what makes a child secure, so you don't have to worry if your child doesn't have one. Kids who don't have a particular lovey soothe themselves in other ways -- perhaps yours twirls her hair or is calmed by music. Most children figure out what they need on their own, but if your child has trouble with transitions or falling asleep at night, you can help. Try thinking about the five senses: Is there a certain smell that makes her feel relaxed? You could give her a soft shirt of yours to hold, or rub a bit of your lotion on her hand.

The bottom line: A lovey doesn't have any bearing on your child's ability to form attachments to people. So just be glad you don't have to worry about losing a favorite stuffed animal!

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