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Positive Reinforcements: 9 Things You Shouldn't Say to Your Child

Learn what phrases to banish from your vocabulary and how to talk so your kids will really listen

By Paula Spencer

"You Know Better Than That!"

Like comparisons, quick gibes can sting in ways parents never imagine. For one thing, a child actually may not have known better. Learning is a process of trial and error. Did your child really understand that a heavy pitcher would be hard to pour from? Maybe it didn't seem that full, or it was different from the one he's successfully poured from by himself at preschool.

And even if he made the same mistake just yesterday, your comment is neither productive nor supportive. Give your child the benefit of the doubt, and be specific. Say "I like it better if you do it this way, thank you."

Similar jabs include "I can't believe you did that!" and "It's about time!" They may not seem awful, but you don't want to say them too much. They add up, and the underlying message kids hear is: "You're a pain in the neck, and you never do anything right."

Next: Why you shouldn't make threats

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