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Reality Check: Not Feeling Sexy

Q. Now that our baby's six weeks old, the doctor has given me and my husband the go-ahead to have sex again. But I feel like an overweight wreck -- what if my husband isn't attracted to me?

A. The next time your husband gives you That Look and you fix your mouth to refuse because you're worried he won't like what's hiding under your sweats, remember this: He Just Doesn't Care. When Nick found out the doctor had given me the green light after Mari was born, he practically chased me around the house. Surely, I thought, he couldn't be turned on by my grumpy, drippy, lumpy self. But he couldn't have cared less that I smelled like sour milk and was half asleep.

It's not that your husband is blind -- after all, he watched your body change throughout the pregnancy -- but to a man coming off a two-month-plus dry spell, your postbaby belly is the tiniest and most insignificant of details. So the person you need to seduce back into the bed is you.

Fact is, you're going to have bouts when you feel fat and totally undesirable -- even after your baby's a baby no more. But remember: You deserve your husband's loving just as much as he deserves yours. And he craves your passion and affection as much as your body. In the end, that's really all he and you will ever need.

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