Q. My sister-in-law wants to throw me a shower for my family's newest addition, but friends say you should only get one for your firstborn. What's the rule?
A. My mom said the same thing: Everyone bought what I needed for my first baby, and it was unfair to pressure them to buy stuff for my second. Honestly, I kind of agreed with her.
But my BFF Angelou wasn't having it; babies, she insisted, deserve to be celebrated -- whether they're your first, your third, or your tenth. She ended up hosting a low-key get-together, and guests were told not to bring a gift, but if they insisted, it should be something just for me, as my baby already had all she could need.
Your friend can do the same for you. But if it still feels greedy, make it a party with a purpose -- suggest guests give an optional donation to a local charity. That way, people will know the true intent of your shower: to welcome your child into the circle of people who love you.