Children squirming in their seats, dropping utensils, spilling drinks, whining before the food arrives. Taking kids out to eat is asking for trouble, right?
Wrong. "Parents have a lot of control over this situation," says Janette B. Benson, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at the University of Denver.
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"Examine what your child's table manners are like at home," Benson advises. Family dinners should include rules: Everyone comes to the table at the same time; salt, pepper, bread, and ketchup are passed, not reached for; and watching TV or playing with a Game Boy is verboten. Be consistent with expectations. This will give kids a framework of acceptable behavior, which they can use when dining out, she explains.
Stack the odds in your favor by selecting a family-friendly restaurant (a kids' menu is a good sign) and a reasonable hour (an early dinner is always a smart bet). Anne-Marie Welsh, a mother of three in Erie, PA, recommends asking the wait staff to bring a basket of rolls or crackers to the table immediately. "It staves off the crabbies," she says. If eating out is a rare event, explain the drill to kids beforehand. Say: "In a restaurant, the chef makes many dishes, so we have to wait for our food."
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You might bring along small toys, though it's better to play quiet word games, like Geography or I Spy, or conduct conversations that everyone at the table can join, says Benson. Talking while you're waiting teaches children to be social over dinner.
Is this too much to ask of a 5-year-old? Not at all, says Sabrina Colinet, an etiquette instructor and founder of Excel: A Program for Etiquette and Cultural Enhancement in the Chicago area. "Kids this age can be made to understand that they're ambassadors of their family when dining out."
