The Dream: “I WANT TO CROSS AN OCEAN” Marley, 5, Miami
The Reality: Disney Magic Transatlantic Cruise; disneycruise.disney.go.com
Traversing the briny deep can be supremely fun, even for junior Jack Sparrows. Disney brings its gold-standard service—and a boatload of characters you’d typically have to stand in line to meet—to delight your crew during this 14-day excursion. The kids’ club becomes a true hot spot as kids try their hand at docking the ship and maneuvering a sub through coral reefs on a training simulator, or lead a round-the-ship scavenger hunt. Your kid can build vegetable (yes, potato and carrot and bell pepper) cars to race. Did we mention the servers at the Disney-fied dinner cut your kids’ food for you? If it all sounds grand—but two weeks is a bit much—get the same magic (plus a four-story waterslide) on a three- to five-night junket aboard the brand-new Disney Dream.
Don’t miss: Making chocolate-chip cookies in the Ratatouille cooking class. The chef incorporates ways to burn kids’ energy into his schtick, like making them hop on one foot while pouring in the flour.
The Dream: “I WANT TO GET SLIMED” Jai Bhide, 11, Vienna, VA
The Reality: Nickelodeon Suites Resort, Orlando, FL; nickhotel.com
Katy Perry’s done it. Pink? Yep. Even the Jonas and Olsen siblings. Now your kid can become one of the green and famous at this tween nirvana. The ooze (and aahs) start as soon as they see their Kid Suite walls covered with SpongeBob and the Fairly Oddparents. The odds of being honored at the Kids’ Choice Awards are slim, but your kid can still fulfill her dream of feeling that lime-green goo sliding down her neck at the nightly game shows here. Equally messy (and hilarious) pie-in-the-face games are also played. Dance parties, a four-story water park, and a 12-and-younger spa are a few of the drip-free diversions. Are you up for it? No?! At least try the 4-D virtual sliming.
Don’t miss: The madness of standing under the ginormous bucket at the lagoon pool with a hundred others, all screaming “We want slime!” You’ll surely get it.