"You look hot."
You know this, right? Oh, what, you don't? We know you're convinced we're crazy --how can we possibly think you look sexy when you feel overweight and out of shape, when you haven't gotten a pedicure in ages and your eyebrows need to be waxed, when your clothes are all puke-stained, and when you haven't showered in two days? We get it. But you know what? We still think you're hot.
Okay, yes, you do look great after primping and preening for the dinner party we don't want to go to (see "I'm fed up with date night"). And that's a great outfit you just picked up on sale for virtually nothing (yeah, right). But that moment when you bent down to put the dishes in the washer? Your butt looked awesome! You were smoking. Call us crazy, but hey, there's a guy inside this dad. We still think about sex at least a hundred times a day, and no one makes us think about it more than you.
"It turns me on that you're the mother of my child."
More than anything, sex is about self-esteem, and nothing gives us more of a jolt of sexy pride than to look at you and the kids and think, "Holy crap, I did it! I pulled it off. I'm the husband now. I'm the dad." I swear it feels like just yesterday we were sleeping on George Jetson sheets and listening to our mothers complain about our dirty underwear. But now we have our very own wives to complain about our dirty underwear. We made it! Truth be told, we weren't sure it would ever happen. We could have ended up like the aforementioned "loser" best friend, who may have a DVD collection to envy but doesn't have you. You turned us from a little boy into a man. And the sense of manliness that's wrapped up in you and the kids and our little family is a wellspring of sexual self-esteem. It's us against the world, and just knowing there's an "us" gets our engines revving. So come on over here, and give us a cuddle.
Now that you know what your man's thinking, help him get the conversation started. I, on the other hand, need to go make sure my wife knows these things.
Ian Kerner is the author of five books about sex and relationships, including Sex Detox: A Relationship Rejuvenation Program for Everyone
What do you want him to know? Spill your secrets --and see what other moms said --at Parenting.com/confess