Bed-wetting, or "enuresis," is rarely an emotional or psychological problem. It doesn't mean that your child is too lazy to get up or is trying to control you, or that she's stubborn or immature. Usually bed-wetting is simply a developmental lag -- and one that you may have experienced yourself: If both her parents were bed-wetters after the age of 6, a child has about an 80 percent chance of being one; if only one parent was wet at night, the child has a 40 percent chance of having accidents. There are late walkers, late talkers -- and late dry-nighters. In addition, some children have small bladders that are more easily overfilled, and some studies suggest others don't produce enough antidiuretic hormone (ADH), which is released by the pituitary gland during sleep and causes the kidneys to manufacture less urine so that the bladder doesn't fill beyond capacity. In any case, it's unreasonable to expect a child under the age of 4 or 5 to always wake up dry.
In fact, a child who wets the bed usually can't control it any more than one with asthma can help wheezing. So take heart knowing that most bed-wetters outgrow the problem without treatment; if your youngster isn't bothered by it there's no reason to intervene -- but if she is, there are effective tactics to try.
Contributing editor William Sears, M.D., is coauthor ofThe Pregnancy Book, The Baby Book, and The Discipline Book.