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New words for your next family vacation

May 1, 2012
Parenting.com
We’re word nerds in this family, so when we travel with the kids, we like to craft our own lingo.
© Matt Villano

The list of new words for this year's update of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary won't be unveiled until the end of August. But why wait until then?

In anticipation of the upcoming summer of travel, I present to you my nominees for M-W’s next installment. These phrases have been culled from years of traveling with (and, in at least one case, without) kids. My wife and I use them often; along with some other choice phrases and words, they comprise the crux of a distinct lingo we take with us whenever we hit the road. Before good ol' Merriam-Webster decides whether to include these in the next book, feel free to adopt the words as your own.

  • babybomb \ bay – bee – bahm \ v : to litter a hotel or rented space with evidence of a baby’s presence; such items may include stacks of clean diapers, disposable Arm & Hammer bags of dirty diapers, baby toys, high chair, etc. Example: When we arrived, our room at the Four Seasons Maui was super-swanky; after an hour, it had been babybombed.
  • clark \ kl – ark \ v : to over-plan and over-schedule a family vacation in the vein of Clark Griswold from the “National Lampoon’s Vacation” movies, to the point where nobody can have fun. Example: Uncle Justin clarked that family trip to Disneyland so hard, I would have strangled him if I wasn’t so exhausted every night.
  • marmot \ mar – mott \ v : to wake up from a sound sleep, pop one’s head over the side of a travel crib and stare at Mom and Dad sleeping in the bed on the other side of the room; babies are most commonly the ones to exhibit this behavior, and they usually do so between the hours of 4 and 5:30 a.m. Example: I was having a wonderful dream until the baby marmotted and woke me up with coos and giggles.
  • MP \ em – pee / adj : hostile or unfriendly to children; abbreviation of “misopedist,” someone who hates children. Example: That restaurant is MP, dude—they have no high chairs and no changing tables in the bathrooms.
  • travelbooty \ tra – vuhl – boo – tee \ n : when traveling, the condition during which a toddler (or grown-up, for that matter) responds with constipation to foreign toilets and a disruption in schedule; condition can sometimes last multiple days and cause significant discomfort. Example: After three days of vacatoin and no success on the potty, I think little Emmy might have travelbooty. [NOTE: “Travelass” is an age-appropriate synonym.]

Surely you readers have devised some of your own phrases over the years. I’d love to hear them; please feel free to share in the comment field below. All submissions will be considered for inclusion in a future post.

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