I still haven't gotten my period.
I knew I might be late this month because I assumed the vacation we took would throw off my cycle...but I'm pretty late now.
Every time I use the bathroom these days I make a silent wish (before I check my underwear) that I haven't gotten my period. When I see I'm in the clear, I breathe a mini sigh of relief.
I can't help but be a little hopeful. I hardly even want to admit it to myself.
Still, I've been preparing my husband for my period.
"I'm sure I'm getting my period," I said the other night, squeezing my sore boobs. "My stomach feels crampy."
"I'm sorry. We'll try again next time," he said without a second thought.
"But I AM pretty late."
"Well, we'll see," he said, seeming not nearly as anxious as I was.
I didn't want to say out loud that my symptoms could actually be pregnancy symptoms, because that might be hoping for too much.
"Do you think I should I take a pregnancy test, though? I should find out if I can drink tonight." (We were going to celebrate our friend's engagement that night and I knew I would be presented with a flute filled with champagne.)
"It's up to you," he said.
"Well, if I take a test now, it may be too early for the pregnancy hormone to even register on the stick. So I'll wait. But I think I'll pretend to drink tonight, just in case. You drink my champagne when they're not looking."
So that's what we did. My husband drank for the two of us (fortunately I didn't ask for seconds).
And now I can't wait any longer. I'm going to take a test.
If all goes well, you'll find me on Parenting's pregnancy blog, Project Pregnancy, in a few months. Please wish me luck!