Do Spare Hands Put A Kink In Your System?
April 4, 2012
My older brother Carlo who lives at the shore stayed at my condo last night because he had a work engagement in North NJ this morning. He completely discombobulated my routine.
He arrived at 4 P.M. yesterday when JD and I were about to run to the library and return books. JD got very excited to see Uncle Carlo and no longer wanted to go to the library. I announced I was going alone, because I refused to pay late fees—again. JD freaked out and didn’t want me to go, but also wanted to stay with Uncle Carlo. JD and I went to the library while Uncle Carlo “decompressed” on the couch. When I returned I started cooking Taco Tuesday.
Uncle Carlo made a taco bowl. He put the rice, beans, corn, taco meat, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes into a bowl and crunched up taco shells. After seeing this, JD decided he NEEDED a bowl of taco meat. A bowl of rice. A plate of corn, beans, cheese and tomatoes. Whatever. I ate three normal tacos.
Next, we colored Easter eggs. Uncle Carlo is a take charge person, whereas Uncle Brian and I are more chill. We’re hippy artists. Carlo was freaking over spilled egg dye and blew up an Easter egg in my microwave. (He thought the sleeve would adhere better that way. Normal, right?) He was very controlling over the dying process too. I intervened. “We are artists. Bud, get your hands in there and dip those eggs around. Yeehaw!" JD went to school with dyed finger tips today.
Uncle Carlo blew up the air mattress which turned into a bouncy house at 8:30 PM, when I’m usually winding JD down. This morning the same thing ensured but I was chasing him on said bouncy house with his school clothes in my hands, saying, “And finish your cereal!” Then the worst thing of all happened. I turned on the TV. I had no idea what channel Uncle Carol had been watching last night: Cartoon #^$%#$^@ Network. “Mommy! The cable man gave us Cartoon Network back! Mommy! MOMMY!!!” I walked out of the bathroom with my mascara wand in my hand and wanted to stab Uncle Carlo in the eye. Calmly I said: “You better enjoy that show, because I think the cable man made a BIG mistake and he’s probably coming back today. If you want to watch that show, then finish your cereal.” He finished his cereal and watched some superhero show.
Soon I was rushing around gathering our things. Uncle Carlo was rushing around looking for his keys and work cell phone. There was a deflated bed in the middle of my living room $^#&#^@!. I took out my allergy pills, but got distracted when Uncle Carlo tried to put sneakers that didn’t match on JD. I put his sneakers on. Carlo left. But then I looked at the allergy meds and wondered if I took one. I COULDN’T REMEMBER! I put one in my mouth. Then spit it out. I didn’t want to drug myself after all.
I got downstairs and realized my phone was on my bed.
Single parents, are you so used to doing everything solo and your routine, that a guest screws it all up sometimes? Be honest.