Grey’s Anatomy premiered a new season on Thursday. Did you tune in? I did! There’s a lot of drama going on and I am going to blog about something Meredith said to Christina (this is your spoiler warning). It made me kind of pissed—especially because, well, Mer is sort of a single mom now. If you recall the season ended with her and baby Z alone in the house. McDreamy was MIA and mad, because she screwed with his study and as a result, she was fired from her job at Seattle Grace Hospital in the first half of the season premiere.
Confused, scared and mad, Meredith stood in front of the hospital day care’s window gazing at Z, then turned to Dr. Christina Yang and said: “I have a plan. I’m gonna be a mom. And make jam.” WT—F!
Yes, Meredith made this comment based on a major life change. She was jobless with an adoptive child and her hot husband loathed her at the moment. But it still kind of rubbed me the wrong way and I think society does in fact view the SAHM life as a jam-making one—and I completely disagree. In short: Being a SAHM is real work. It's the hardest WORK I've ever done.
See, I consider myself a self-employed SINGLESAHM, because JD is home with me twice a week and on nights and weekends (for new readers: his dad does not help out, but in the beginning of my pregnancy we planned to do it together). Because of this, all of this, I have no time to make jam. I don’t even have time to make real cookies—I buy the fake-and-bake dough and pre-heat the oven. We eat grilled cheese for dinner once a week. With a side of frozen veggies. #Seenotime.
Motherhood is not always a magical rainbow arch with a pot full of well-behaved pre-schoolers at the end. Motherhood (the act of raising a child) is coupled with hardcore housework, bookkeeping, cooking, teaching, loving, disciplining, meltdowns (um, kid AND mom), crying, laughing, looking for the Lego guy’s hard hat, looking for the “blue car” in a collection of 650, negotiating eating, bathing, sleeping, putting on sneakers, drinking from a big boy cup, dealing with the fever at midnight + 1000 other things.For single parents like me, it means doing this all alone, because there is no other parent around. The emotional, physical and financial is on me. I have family and friends. We all have family and friends. JD and I live alone. I am the parent. He is my sole moral and legal responsibility. Point blank. I'm honored to be JD's mom, but I don't make jam. Sometimes I wish I had time to make jam. If I did make jam, I'd want someone to say, "thanks, that must have taken some time."
Are there any other single moms and moms in general that feel like Meredith’s comment about making jam was silly? And I’m completely taking it in THAT context: Motherhood is about making jam/being a SAHM is easy. And trust me, I have a lot of SAHM friends who DO have working husbands with this mentality. Smh! Discuss.
MOMS UNITE. DISENGAGED PARENTS WAKE UP.