Motive To Murder: Single Motherhood?
May 9, 2011
I’m working from home today and since the Muffins with Mom party at JD’s school started at 9:30 A.M., I decided to spend the morning relaxing with my favorite boy. I usually have to drop him off at school by 7:20 A.M. to get to a freelance magazine job I’m working. JD woke me up at 6 A.M. so we got up and made coffee and started our routine. I turned on the news to see what the weather was going to be like and that’s when it happened…
I heard a newscaster say something like, prosecutors in the case, site the overwhelming responsibility of single motherhood as the murder motive in the case against Casey Anthony. For those of you who don’t know, Casey Anthony is on trial for the disappearance and murder of her 2 ½-year-old daughter, Caylee Anthony.
I don’t doubt she killed her daughter—the evidence against her is mounted to the ceiling. Prosecutors say they have forensic evidence of Caylee’s hair found in the trunk of Casey’s car. They also have circumstantial evidence—pictures of Casey, partying with friends while her daughter was missing. However, there is no DNA evidence tying Casey to the field where Caylee's body was found and no confession. Instead, Casey maintains she dropped Caylee off at a nanny’s house for 31 days—only no one, not even Casey knows who the nanny is or where she lives. It was after this month-long period, that Casey finally admitted to her mother, Cindy, the child was missing. Cindy made 3 calls to 911, but didn’t mention or insinuate harm to Caylee until the third. She told the dispatcher: “It smells like there’s been a dead body in the damn car.” To date, there are remains, but no evidence of how Caylee was killed, so the coroner's report ruled the child’s death a “homicide by undetermined means.”
Using, even uttering, “single motherhood” as a motive is garbage. I am so sick of every, single thing wrong in the world being linked back to single moms. Most Americans Don't Accept Single Moms.
I’m a single mom, who is, OK, sometimes, like all moms, overwhelmed with caretaking, working—the balancing act. And I realize I am older than Casey—and educated, working and able to provide and take care of my child—but that aside, I’m sound. I’m stable. I’m healthy. I also know when to ask for help. I am lucky to have a loud, crazy Italian family who wants to help and loves JD. But, I don’t live with them and sometimes, I need immediate help, because I feel myself crumbling. So, I call a friend that lives in my building. “Hi, um, my son just puked all over the carpet and himself and me. Can you come down here for a minute?” I never let myself get overwhelmed to the point of hysterics, or breaking way down (do I cry? Sure). I know myself, I know my limits and I am not scared to admit that I need help sometimes—everyone does. This is the difference between healthy mothers and not-so-healthy mothers, ahem, Casey Anthony. Humans are not meant to exist in solitude. I hope every single mom reading this, will really take what I’m saying in. Don’t be ashamed, don’t be scared, don’t be alone. Ask for help.
Single mothers aren’t child killers. Feeling overwhelmed by single motherhood doesn’t trigger you to murder your baby, then party for 31 days, all the time maintaining the child is safe at a mystery nanny’s house. Anyone who kills their child, or behaves like this is sick—and being a mom or single mom shouldn’t reflect the horrific crime.