Here’s the first installment of my list of single mom gripes. I wish I didn’t have a running list in my head, but I do, because I’ve unfortunately experienced the following…
When guys ask me to hang out at night during the same day. I mean, really!? I know there are rules about not accepting dates the same day and needing at least two days notice (to prove something), but I was never like this. I loved changing directions at the last minute. I enjoyed meeting friends for Happy Hour when the group email circulated at 5:59 PM. These days, I do, really need a day or two to secure a sitter. Don’t ask me to see a band at 7 PM when it’s 4 PM.
When guys try to be convenient and say, “I’ll bring a bottle of wine over after your son goes to sleep.” Just because I’m a single mom doesn’t mean I don’t want romance and a real date and a night out of my toy-cluttered condo. And trust me, drinking wine, wondering if my kid is going to wake up isn’t special and I basically end up thinking you're just trying to sleep with me. Refer to point 1 above. Ask me out a few days in advance.
When people say I give you so much credit. This annoys me to no end. What are you giving me credit for? Being a kind, loving person and taking care of my son? Do you give married moms credit? It’s an extraordinary job, parenting, but you cheapen it when you attach the word “credit” to it. You make it sound like I’m being forced to do something.
When men tell me sports are important (this really happened). First off, just because my kid is a boy doesn’t mean sports are important. Second off, I signed JD up for soccer the moment he was old enough to play and he has two seasons under his belt—I took him to every 9 AM practice and game. I would never tell a single dad, “Ballet is important.” I encourage what my son enjoys. So far we’re all about soccer, running, biking and art.
When people assume my life is hard, boring or depressing. When I found out I was pregnant, because I’m Pro-Choice, I had a choice to make. If I didn’t want to be a mom and rearrange my life I didn’t have to. My life is not hard because I’m a working single mom. I’m blessed to be working in this economy. My life is not boring because I spend more time at the park than the bar or some chic gallery opening. I’m talking with my mom friends while our kids play. I’m entertained and in good company. I saw The Muppets, not Breaking Dawn this weekend—so what! My life is not depressing because I’m single. I have friends the same age as me, sans kids, that are single. Their lives are different than mine, because they don’t have a tiny human to protect, but my life is not depressing because I do. In fact, I’m unconditionally loved and I love the same way back. For the most part, I think these people are projecting.
Any single mom or mom gripes to share? Please do!