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Sh*t Crunchy Dads Say: Let's Break It Down!

This week, Mama Natural, who released the viral vid “Sh*t Crunchy Moms Say” several months back, released a daddy version. And, like the Moms vid before it, it’s funny cuz it’s true (more or less); dads are increasingly getting the hang of natural parenting practices… even if they sometimes need some convincing. Go ahead and watch the video, and then read on for my take on a few of the video-dad’s funny phrases.

“I don’t even need sleep anymore.” My man doesn’t delude himself in this way, but oh, how I wish he would. Kaspar is not, shall we say, a strong sleeper, and I’ve – pretty much from the get-go – definitely done far more than half of the late-night tours-of-duty. This made some sense when Kaspar was an infant and I was breastfeeding him, but even now, I just seem to hack the night shift better than Aaron does, so I end up doing it more (Kaspar will also go to sleep more easily with me by his side, so I sometimes volunteer myself for the job in the interest of everyone’s getting more sleep overall). I don’t love this arrangement – mostly, I don’t love sleep deprivation... it’s the worst!— but I do love that Aaron will get up early with Kas so that I can sleep in (and that he co-sleeps without complaint when our nights go that way). Ultimately, I know we’re both really tired, and, someday, Kaspar will sleep consistently through the night. If we're gonna be awake all the time right now, we might as well keep our eyes on the prize.

“It was an unassisted home birth” Remember Jon, father-to-be quotee from my recent post on the home birth debate? Whether or not you like the idea of birthing your babies at home, you’ve gotta hand it to these dads for embracing what their wives feel is important in parenting, from delivery on. “Ask my wife” means they want to get it right. We appreciate that! (I should add, however, that asking my husband what he thinks around various parenting decisions makes him feel more invested in the decisions, and like a team player… That’s important, too.)

“I prefer the freedom of a ring sling.” Okay, this doesn’t seem like something a guy would necessarily articulate aloud (especially to a male buddy), but… who knows? Parenting can kind of take over your brain in the babywearing stages. And seriously, although men who aren’t yet dads probably have no idea how we feel about this… How much do women love the sight of our man with a baby on his body?? If men understood that this basically represents the ultimate in female desires, they’d be rockin’ Ergos on the regular like freakin’ lingerie.

“Don’t tell your mom, okay?” I think the video-dad is putting frozen pizzas into the grocery cart when he says this (props to him for grocery shopping, first of all). I also think crunchy dads – or dads who are married to crunchy moms -- definitely do say this from time to time, especially when it comes to food. Aaron and I both enjoy cooking and value feeding our family healthy foods; we also have to be all the more conscious of what Kaspar’s eating, obviously, due to little man’s food allergies. Recently, however, Kaspar's okay-food list has expanded, and Aaron’s gotten pretty excited over Kaspar-friendly bachelor food: bright orange mac n’ cheese from a box (quionoa pasta), corn-tortilla quesadillas (raw milk cheese)… I choose the ingredients (organic, non-GMO, etc.), Aaron does the cooking (suhweet) and Kaspar’s as happy as a clam.

Kaspar, enjoying his first-ever quesadilla, which Aaron made.

“This is me catching the baby” This seems pretty normal to me; it’s common, these days, for dads to be actively involved in their children’s births. But, just a few decades ago, they usually weren’t even in the room when new babies arrived. Now they’re catching those babies in inflatable bathtubs in their living rooms! This clip was a reminder of how much things have changed.

“That nursing bra is kinda hot.” Yeah… Um, no. I don’t see any guy saying this, no matter how much he’s digging daddyhood. When I was breastfeeding, Aaron and I both thought my rather large, milk-filled boobs were super cool. Aaron was also very pro-breastfeeding from the time I found out I was pregnant. But nursing bras? Not exactly hot, no.

“They got my foreskin, but they’ll never get my son’s.” Oh boy, circumcision. This is a BIG topic in natural parenting circles, but one I’ve stayed away from on this blog; people feel strongly about this issue, and I’ve wanted to a) keep some measure of privacy around my own family members’ private parts, and b) let all y’all to do the same. I’m kind of curious about this dad-quote, though; does it sound realistic to you? Most of the moms I know who’ve turned the circumcision decision over to their baby-daddies discovered those dads wanted their sons to look like they do, below the belt. Some of the dads I know have let their wives make the decision, too. Let’s avoid condemning anyone’s decisions on either side of the foreskin divide, but… If you care to share: did this come up for you, as a couple, before having a boy? How did your man feel about it? (Was he as gung-ho as this guy?)

“We won’t wake the baby.” This is not just a crunchy dads thing. ;-)

Anyway! What else do crunchy dads say? What do you think of this video?

Ps. I’ve seen this making the online rounds this week, too. Here’s to the internet loving on parents, whatever their parenting style!

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