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Heat Wave

We’re having the worst heat wave in the Puget Sound region in at least 30 years, and in honor of it I chose to get pregnant 7.5 months ago just to add that extra special something to this frog boiler of summer fun.

Magoo keeps telling me he’s “BOWLING!”

“It’s so hot tonight. Me and Laylee are totally BOWLING in our beds so we have to be naked.”

It’s almost 8 o’clock at night as I type this and still 95 degrees outside with over 40% humidity. Without any sort of air conditioning or cooler, it feels like my body liquid is boiling just below the surface of my skin and evaporating all over the place.

We’ve been looking for creative ways to cool off -- water games, visits to the pool, friends who have air conditioning. We try to move as little as possible and wear as little as possible. We’re planning a trip to IKEA later this week and yesterday we spent quite a while at Costco, just browsing, looking for cold samples to eat.

At one point I found a big soft reclining rocker that needed a tester. I sat down and nearly passed out. AHHHH! It was comfortable. I thought about taking it home with me. We’re looking for a good rocker for when the baby comes. The problem was, it was too comfortable to be remotely attractive but it was just perfect for our little AC-sucking trip to Costco. Magoo whined, “When are you gonna get up and moooove?”

“Never,” I responded, closing my eyes. I wondered if I could convince some strapping young red-shirted employees to move me and the chair into the refrigerated produce section.

Magoo started to cry. “I don’t want to stay here forEVER!”

“Okay. How about 2 more minutes?”

“Okay.”

My kids want to beat the heat too but they disapprove of my particular methods. Magoo doesn’t want to stay at Costco forever. Laylee asked me to “try harder” to make the house feel cool. They both think we’d stay cooler if we spent all our time outside although I’ve tried and tried to convince them that as hard as it is to believe, it’s actually cooler inside than outside by a whole 10 degrees! It was also really difficult to convince them to drink enough water until I told them that people die all the time from not drinking enough water when it’s hot. A little life and death motivation is often helpful when speaking to those less aged than I.

But besides the forced fluids, I guess I’ll let them go their way and I’ll go mine. They can sit outside in a lukewarm tub of water and I’ll seek out AC anywhere I can find it. At night I’ll continue to put my jammies in the freezer before putting them on while Magoo sleeps in nuthin’ but a pull-up. Personally I find pull-ups to be too bulky and I’ve yet to find them in maternity sizes, just when a woman could use them most.

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