A Very Twilight Thanksgiving
November 24, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving, Internet! Most of you are probably already on your way, over the river and through the wood, to Grandma's house or wherever you're eating your turkey this year. It's Thanksgiving Eve as I write this, but in the morning Team Cheung will brave the traffic, the rain, and hours of the Wiggles on our way to my brother's house in Port Angeles, Washington.
Now, some of you may be familiar with the town of Port Angeles. Some of you may be scratching your heads wondering where you've heard the name, others of you are all, "KISS EDWARD FOR ME!" Port Angeles makes a fleeting appearance of two in some of the Twilight books - this is both a fun little fact with which to tease my brother and the inspiration behind today's Thanksgiving blog post, which no one will read because HELLO IT IS THANKSGIVING. And if you ARE reading this, what are you doing?! Go eat your turkey! (Or maybe you are hiding out from the in-laws? I understand. Stay as long as you like.)
So anyway. I may be eating my Thanksgiving in Port Angeles this year, but that is the ONLY Twilighty thing about my holiday. And now may I present a few other reasons to be thankful?
1. I will not be recovering from the most violent, revolting birth in the history of births. It may have been a somewhat traumatic experience, what with the speed labor and the no doctor and the pitiful absence of drugs, but my baby exited my body using the designated route, without breaking any bones or requiring a dose of vampire venom to save my life, thankyouverymuch.
2. If I accidentally slice my finger open while carving the turkey, my in-laws will fetch me a band-aid instead of diving for my neck fangs-first.
(Oh wait. The Cullens don't have fangs, do they. They're all BEAUTY and SPARKLE - don't get me started on these "vampires".)
3. My husband won't have a grossly unfair advantage during our post-turkey game of Trivial Pursuit on account of being 104 years old.
4. He also won't be able to hear what I'm thinking when he reaches for his seventh helping of mashed potatoes.
5. There's no fear that I'll trip over the folding chairs or stumble into the cranberry sauce as I am not strapped with Shocking Amounts of Klutziness as a Literary Device - oh, I'm being mean again. SORRY, TWIHARDS. (My husband doesn't have the superhuman speed to save me from klutzing it up anyway.)
6. And perhaps the biggest reason I'm thankful I'm not really in the Twilight Universe: I CAN EAT FOOD ON THANKSGIVING.
Have a good one!